Happy Valentine's Day

Happy V-day everyone! It's a cold day perfect for snuggling up on the couch, playing board games and updating blogs. We are less than a month away from our due date and things are packed and ready. As the calendar turned to February I will admit that anxiousness about got the best of me. I found myself having a hard time sleeping, sitting still and thinking about anything else. I realized that I couldn't keep that up for the whole month or I would go mad! People close to me saw the stress levels rising and began to pray for me and I began to focus on God and not so much the what if's.
So on this February day, I am enjoying my family. Playing Lego Duplo with Isaac, eating at Cracker Barrel with Anna and enjoying quiet talks with my Valentine Travis. I realized that in a few weeks things will be much different around this house, attention will be much more divided and talks and play time will be greatly shortened. Instead of worrying about all the details I am trying to enjoy the moment! It's so easy to live from event to event in our lives as time flies by, but it's in the smallest moments that life is truly lived. Right now, in the living room, Isaac and Anna are fighting about blankets and space on the couch and I wouldn't have it any other way.
We have talked a lot about our new addition in all those moments, how things will be different and the same when she is here. About the possibilities that this adoption may not work out how we have planned but that we trust God to do what's best for us. Travis and I have talked a lot about that possibility too and have decided that our plans will never be better than God's so we trust Him for whatever He has in store. Easier said than done, but we are works in progress! We have talked to Anna especially about our fears and concerns, we want her to understand that following God is not always easy.
I have had many text message conversations with our birth mother over the last few weeks. I try to be there for her, to reassure her but to also acknowledge that what she is going through is very difficult. I pray for her often as she has mentioned that she has been more emotional in the last few weeks. In all those conversations I realize how huge this whole process it. How much bigger it is than all of us. How amazed I am to even be a part of this. It is so much more than an adoption, it's a chance to share God's love with another person, another family, another people group. It's a chance for my eyes to be opened to the hugeness of God and my inability in my own little box to grasp His plans for my life. God has so much to teach us!
One of our biggest concerns for our baby and the birth mother is the fact that she hadn't been to the doctor since November. That prayer was answered this week as she was able to get in to see one. All is well and on track! She will continue to go to the doctor weekly until delivery. We were also able to finalize details about towns, hospital's and hotel stays. All of those things were big in reducing my anxiety levels.
So now, we wait, we are getting so good at waiting (is anyone ever good at waiting?)! And in the mean time we pray and we try to enjoy every moment together, with the phone near by just in case the call comes early!
Thanks for all of the prayers, keep them coming!

Bethany