Overwhelmed

We are now over a month into the paperwork process. Each day it seems that I find a new form that I need to submit or a looming cost that we didn't know about. We have chosen Adoption Assistance out of Danville to complete our home study and to guide us through this journey, though we have a local agency, with adoption from Korea we ultimately go through a much larger entity called AIAA (Americans for International Aid and Adoption). AIAA has very strict guidelines for adoption including a Body Mass index under 30, age 25-44, no more than 4 children, a good physical and mental health with no history of disease or mental illness, along with the ability to have a plan of how to pay for adoption.  We are currently in the process of obtaining the correct body mass, Travis has lost 33 pounds to date, and I have lost 15.

The anxiety of this whole process does not come from the BMI or strict medical guidlines but the funding required to complete. Also listed on the AIAA website is a list of required funds totaling $22,500, without home study fees, travel fees, various cost to submit forms or agency fees. As we examined the cost last night we were both completely overwhelmed by the task at hand.  This journey is a journey of faith. From the very beginning of the call we have known that we do not have the funds nor any way to require the funds on our own.  To be honest with you it is very easy to say we trust God for the money, but very hard to let go and believe it when we have no plan.  We cannot apply for any loans or grants until after the home study is complete, therefore requiring us to take a huge leap of faith that God will provide.

I told Travis last night that this may be one of the most difficult journeys we ever have to take in our lives. The rollercoaster of emotions from excitement to absolute fear vary by the hour. I hold on to the fact that God has a plan for us, He knows every step, every fear, every worry and He just longs for us to trust Him.  I ask for your prayers as we try to figure out God's absolute timing, as we fumble through the pages of required documents, as we research loans and grants and discuss possibilities.  I pray that God's peace is upon us and that we are no longer overwhelmed by the looming cost but by His amazing Love.

"By Faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going."
Hebrews 11:8

Lord give us that kind of Faith!